((Brownimr)))
Welcome to SR!!
I'm sorry for what brings you here, but I'm glad you found us. There are a lot of us, here, who understand what you're going through.
I'm a recovering addict, as well as a recovering codie (codependent). I spent many, many years in a relationship with a man who, for many reasons, was not right for me. I did it because I'm a codie..I put everything I had into HIM. Sure, I had a job, my own place to live (we weren't married) but still, I was totally focused on him.
Have you considered al-anon or nar-anon meetings? They are a great source of support, for people who love addicts/alcoholics. There are usually more al-anon meetings than nar-anon. They will help you to learn how to focus more on YOU and less on HER.
An addict usually has to hit bottom before they want recovery. This usually doesn't happen until they run out of people to enable them and they are forced to deal with their consequences.
The same goes for codies..we, too have to hit bottom. We usually have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired, that we are willing to start making changes.
There is a lot of good information in the stickies...the posts at the top of this forum.
I hope you keep reading and posting. You are among friends.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy