patterpit

Hi...I'm new to this site but so happy I found it. I'm literally feeling like I'm going crazy. My AH has had a love-affair with Vicodin for the last 1 1/2 years. I think he always has liked it but a coworker approached him when he started his job and has been 'hooking him up' ever since.

My story seems to follow the same outline as everyone else...but since our last confrontation last week, my AH has gotten almost arrogant about not buying the pills. He's in my face and verbally assaulting me. Last week, I called the coworker and threatened him and he agreed to not sell to my husband (yeah right!). I also updated his father on everything. I 'let go' of it all for a while and I think my husband thought he was getting away with it. I think he's mad because he's pissed about me knowing the latest and telling his dad. He doesn't know about his coworker yet.

He's totally in denial about his addiction and down plays all the lying and damage he has done to our marriage and family. He asks how I can call him an addict when he can stop....He says he thinks the only reason I have a problem is because he doesn't have a prescription...He has now started drinking and getting in my face that everyone drinks on the weekend! He and his addiction have changed everything including me! He made an appointment with a doctor but says he's only going to check that box for me. He's threatening it's over because he wants to beat me to the punch.

I'm just so tired...feel like I'm going crazy and don't recognize myself anymore. I wake up wondering how i got here. I feel so horrible for my kids that adore him. I'm pissed because he's ruining our life together and is probably going to cause me to forever alter our course. He's systematically breaking me apart bit by bit. I feel lost and completely cut off from friends and family because of this.

How do I find me and move forward? How do I not enable or become codependent? How do I protect myself and my kids? How do I prepare for a possible separation or divorce? Help!!