Originally Posted by
rubygurl292 
...I never had a problem, or saw the problem, before I was connected to the military. ... I used to party with the girls or go to parties and have a great time without feeling like a jacka** the next day. ... . next thing you know it's 10 beers, 10 shots of jager, and hours spent in blackout. I don't know if I just try to drink with the guys and cant handle it like they can or what made the difference suddenly.
What made the difference was most likely the passage of time.
They tell me alcoholism is a progressive disease. And although I feel like I drank like a drunk from drink one, I can still look back and see how it seemed to start out pretty benign. It all seemed so fun and easy at the beginning and I could drink anyone under the table and come up smiling and smelling like the funniest person in the place (according to me).
Until I couldn't. Until I was drinking obscene amounts without ever seeming to get drunk and passing out or blacking out and waking up in the ER. Or trying incoherently to explain my inexplicable behavior to the police.... Or.... or.... or.... At that point, it becomes irrelevant how much fun it used to be or how I got where I am.
(It was important to me, though, when I got sober, to try to make sense of my story. That's been a very powerful part of learning to be sober. So I can totally relate to the confusion surrounding "why did it go from this to this?")