I second what kemit and bearfeet are saying.. Mine is in the "nice" part of his cycle too. And just like you Blessed I'm left thinking and feeling.. is this real? when will the other shoe drop? If it was this easy, why didn't he do it before?
He's had one slip up, but is back on track so I don't know what to think. My boundary isn't about drinking, so he's still doing that, but I told him that it's the abusive traits that I won't live with. If he can be a civil, non-fighting, accepting drinker, than do it.. be in denial, I'll deal with that bridge when we come to it. But for now what I can't live with is the fighting, name calling, put-downs and general uneasiness I have in my own house. He got it, and changed.. but then.. I realized he only changed because he expected something from me. Then he could throw what his amazing change in my face. This was the slip up.
I explained to him.. all of the things he was doing didn't amount to bull if he wasn't doing them for himself. He couldn't and shouldn't change for me, he needed to do it for him. Spending time with your family is not something you can use for leverage, you need to do it because you want to do it. I also explained that I do indeed understand (to the best of my ability) his feelings and I do care about them, but that I can't care about them to the extent of making myself do something I'm not comfortable with. I won't let his "good show" be used for manipulation. That he has the equal opportunities and choices to make that I do.
If he doesn't like the choices I'm making (to take care of me first) then he can choose to deal with it or leave. Just the same as I can choose to deal with him or leave. That actually seemed to make a lot of sense to him and the week since then has been good. Even with my Mom visiting.. Which is UNHEARD of!! So we'll see where it goes, but unfortunately I still am living with some apprehension that the other shoe will drop. I wish I didn't feel that way, but it's happened so many times before that it's impossible to have blind faith.
Good luck and enjoy the calm waters..