Chris (my xabf) was very good about "quitting" for awhile, too. When he felt he HAD to, to keep me from leaving him, to protect his disease, is what it all boiled down to. I enabled his alcoholism, so the disease was talking and put him in to "be nice so she doesn't leave" mode, I guess. Because then I will have to live at my mom's, and that won't look good, that will look like I have a problem. Stuff like that.
Perfect example is when we got back together at the beginning of December. He was the seemingly "perfect" boyfriend, no drinking, no being mean, engaging with us as a family, helping around the house. For a week or two anyway. Then, little by little, even though he didn't drink...he was grouchy, restless, irritable, selfish, started "blaming"....started picking fights.
Without recovery, in my opinion, they never stay that way.