I understand too, I'm have been at times left open mouthed at my XA's complete change of character, I used to start to doubt my sanity like if my memories of all the awful abusive times were wrong or if I really did cause them, but listen to your instincts becasue they are looking after you.
I really hope it's a positive and permanent change and I would guess that deep down he would like to be like that all of the time, I mean who wouldn't? but I can't answer the why you are rightly asking yourself about him chosing when you get to see it or even if he's aware he is foing it.
Toughchoices, I have to believe that mine 'can't' control it because the hurt that thinking he 'can' would be too unbearable for me at the moment......
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