Self-Assessment for True Guilt
On a fresh piece of paper, write the heading "True Guilt v.s. False Guilt." Try to write three or four sentences in response to the following questions. Be as honest as you can be. Remember nobody needs to see your responses but you.
The following exercise on true guilt v.s.. false guilt may be very difficult to complete. In many ways, true guilt is perhaps one of the most painful types of guilt you can experience because it doesn’t involve others betraying you: it involves you betraying yourself. However, keep in mind that few people are free enough from economic necessity, family obligations, and social pressure to be true to themselves all the time. It is entirely normal to give in to pressures to act a certain way rather than follow the desires of your heart or conscience.
Think of at least three instances where you gave in to pressures outside of yourself and acted against your own self-interest, your own development, or your own moral values? Write at least seven or eight sentences describing these instances in detail. Pay special attention to the kinds of pressures being placed upon you by others or by circumstances. Be sure to include one or two sentences describing how you reacted to your decision to give in to these pressures. For example, did you punish yourself in some way? Did you try to harm those who pressured you in some way and then feel guilty about that? Did you try to put the incident out of your mind?
In your present day life, are you currently acting against your values or your own growth? How is any guilt you are experiencing about your behavior affecting your self-esteem, your emotional health, your physical health, your personal relationships, your family life, or your career? Write two or three sentences about each aspect of your life which is affected by your true guilt.
Looking over your answers to the questions above and comparing them with your answers to the "Shoulds" exercise earlier in this chapter, do you see any similarities in how you respond to feelings of guilt? Can you list at least three ways your response to guilt today is similar to your responses as a child or young adult? Can you list at least three ways your responses to guilt today are different from your responses as a child or young adult?