You know.............................................. ....having been on both sides of the fence, has been helpful to me in many ways.
First, you are EXPECTING (yep, YOUR expectations again) for someone fairly new in recovery to STOP BSing (lying). Now just because a person is in recovery DOES NOT MEAN that immediately they can erase YEARS of how they do or did something. Thus..................yes there will be BSing (no, I am not making excuses, just a fact) for months to come, even with those WORKING HARD on recovery.
Recovery is PROGRESS not perfection. Old habits, old tapes, are slowly erased by new habits and new tapes. Getting sober and clean and becoming 'honest', immediately, not going to happen. I have seen it too too many times with the sponsees I work with, it just takes TIME.
Ok, now my AlAnon hat. With the above being said.......................................having been in that position myself, it still took AlAnon for me to understand that I could .....................calmly and succinctly, in a quiet but firm voice give my boundaries to the recovering person. Stand by those boundaries and stand by the consequences.
I have become a staunch believer that the person in recovery does much better by going for 3, 6, to 9 months to a "Sober Living Facility", wherein they start learning HOW to LIVE sober. They learn it with others in various stages of recovery. They learn from 'strangers' rather than their loved ones. I don't care if it is a daughter, son, mother, father, wife or husband. Send them, insist on it, demand it, whatever, that they not return to the current home, but instead hit a Sober Living Facility.
This is J M H O but I have seen the differences it can make in the Addicts life and the Family's Life.
Love and hugs,