Freedom1990

Honestly, I have come to that place of acceptance with my daughter that I have placed her in God's hands, and I have faith that he has a plan for her, and there is no pain at this time.

I went through it so many times that I eventually got to that point where I am indifferent. Whether that is good or bad I don't know. It just is what it is.

The few times I see her face to face, I feel nothing. She has used the family up. She has profoundly influenced her children even though she doesn't have custody. I gave birth to her, but there is just nothing there anymore, if that makes sense.

I did as my sponsor suggested the last time I felt the rage building over damage she had inflicted once again. I wrote a letter to her, tucked it back, re-read it in 30 days, added some more, and let it all go.

Sending it to her would have served no purpose. It was for me, to get my feelings out, and to let them go.

Sometimes I wonder if I had been able to detach from the enmeshment with her insanity sooner, if I would have been left with some semblence of love for her, but it's a moot point.

Now, at age 31, she will most likely win her case for disability, and spend the rest of her life supported by taxpayer dollars, popping her Xanax and whatever else she can get the psychiatrist to prescribe that keeps her mind chemically altered.