Marle - Hope Megan keeps her focus on her recovery and does not get drawn into his dysfunctional mess any more. Mom hugs to you!
Yep, enabling can be very bad, be it from a parent or a spouse. I was determined to NEVER enable my AH. Never. Not me. NOPE. I didn't bail him out of drug related problems, refused to call in sick for him, always made it clear if he went to jail NOT to call me.
Yet - I paid the bills, kept food in the kitchen, made excuses for him, took care of details.....
ENABLED.
Took me a long time to realize just how easy I made it for him to keep screwing up. He didn't have to worry because I was always there. At times I felt more like a "mom" to him than a wife. Now that's a depressing thought!
I'm a firm believer in the "you made your bed - now sleep in it" adage so now he's sleeping in it and he doesn't like it very much.
Hope those parents will come to understand that they are hurting more than they are helping. Part of a parent's job is to prepare their children for the world - for life. Letting them stand on their own two feet when they are able, not just when they want to.