I am sorry you're hurting, bebo. It must be a big shift in your thinking to go from having kids to not having kids. Anvilhead and grewup are right......his recovery is his to own, yours is yours to own. And trust me, you don't want someone who is unsure whether they WANT children to become a father to yours. That doesn't make it any less sad for you, though
Please keep in mind that when it comes to people trying to find their way, anything can happen -- good and bad. Don't write this off just yet.
Sometimes a really great thing happens when you both turn away from trying to change the other and instead focus on your own healing....sometimes you find common ground that you couldn't have found any other way. And sometimes you find respect for each other, which is fundamental to any healthy relationship.
Concentrate on rebuilding the YOU part of the healthy relationship, which is the only part you can control. Sending you hugs and strength to move forward in a way that brings you back to happiness.