I agree with Anvilhead. Take care of yourself. ACOA's, or anyone who has lived with alcoholism, have to choose a path of recovery on their own. You can be loving and show you care, but the path it theirs to walk. And it is not an easy path. I am walking that path now and hope to be able to say what Anvil said in the future.
Yes, go to Alanon. And read over the stickies at the top of this forum. Also, you might get some insight by reading the 12 steps forum. Alcoholics and those in alanon use the exact same 12 steps. They are difficult and they reach right into the core of the way one thinks, even the smallest semi-conscious whisper and in every waking moment.
Recovery is under the control of the ACOA and their higher power. No one else can make it happen. Alanon will show you that all attempts to encourage, plead, coerce, bribe, or threaten a person to recover will not help and may hurt any progress, are just attempts to control, and they do harm to the person who is attempting the controlling.