I want to add please don't use your SR friends' success in recovery as a reason to stay with this man. We are the minority of addicts here at SR. I meet hundreds and hundreds of addicts in meetings. Out of all of them that pass through the doors of NA, less than 10% stick and stay by my reckoning (don't send me any statistical data people, this 10% is just my experience, not a controlled scientific study done at Harvard, ..lol).
So though I'm an addict, I wouldn't seek out a relationship with another person with this disease. I can only guage my own willingness to stay clean, not someone elses', and this disease scares the he!! out of me. I certainly wouldn't engage in a relationship with an addict who isn't clean, and I mean clean for years, working a program, has a sponsor, working steps actively, has a network, goes to meetings every week, etc..
Anyway, so remember that the people you've gotten to know in SR who are really working a recovery are the minority of addicts, and guage your choices realistically!
Love,
KJ