Mrs. Magoo...
I'm sorry you're going thru this...again.
Don't feel bad...lots of us stayed too long..
Everyone's situation is different, of course, but I bet alot of people (including myself) stay because of fear...and because, just like you, we can't let go of the outcome...we see this person we love and we think recovery is just around the corner because that is what they tell us.
Stop listening to his words...they mean nothing...and look at his actions.
I didin't leave my exah for a long time because I was afraid of the outcome. I was certain that if I left him to his own devices, he would never find recovery. I thought he'd fall into this deep, dark pit and never find his way out. But when I finally let go of my expectations...and let go of my need to control him...he slipped a little further into addiction but then he clawed his way back and found recovery. To this day, he tells me that he would have never done it had I stayed and continued to make things easy for him. He would probably be dead now or still using if I had stayed and made his life easier...trying to save him from himself.
Everyone has to work thru this at their own pace...
Please change the PIN number on your ATM card and make sure you protect yourself financially as best as you can...and protect yourself emotionally by not relying on him for support or help...Let him go...let him find his own way...let him feel the consequences of his drug use...and focus your energy and love on yourself and your kids.
You'll know when you've had enough. There won't be any 'maybe' about it...you'll just know. Until that time comes, protect yourself against the legal, financial, and emotional fall-out of his addiction.
Hugs...I know this isn't easy.