I got played again!
I don't want to be here again posting about this. I'd rather not hear I told you so because I already know everyone has told me so. I don't know why I'm here except the question has been posed to me: Do you want me to leave? Do I?
As you know, my AH and I have gone round and round with the drugs, the alcohol and prescription drugs. First it was pain killers after 10 years of being clean then in the natural progression of things, he moved on up to heroin then 2 detoxes stints.
After hooking up with a buddy from "way back when" that he got reacquainted with at AA, buddy fell off the wagon and AH was right there helping pick himself up (as AH was a substance abuse until the 1st detox) and picked up only this time, because he's on methadone for pain and opiate addiction, he starts smoking crack then starts shooting crack until he gets a giant infection in his arm that scares the crap out of him.
He drinks occassionally. I don't like it cause I know where that ends up at. He got a job out of town. That was good - distance. I started guessing that he was using crack again but of course it's easy to deny when you live 2 hours away. He came back home, is unemployed, feeling bad about himself and starts smoking crack again (on my dime). He says its not a problem.
It's a problem. After investing (today) in a couples kit from the movie Fireproof and him telling me just last night that anything he does that doesn't make me blissfully happy is unacceptable and after offering to make the appitizers for my bible study class tonight, I find out that he's gone to the ATM, pulled out $60 and smoked crack for an hour.
He is making some phone calls to professionals he knows from the field. He absolutely knows that I will not live like this. He's finally admitting that it's a problem and he needs help. I know he's supposed to hit rock bottom. In the past, I was always the one determining where his bottom was, not him, so I'd come in when I thought he had had enough and rescue him. My head is about to explode. We don't have health insurance. He gets benefits from the VA and I think the VA Hospital 2 hours away has a detox program but I think it's just a detox program and I don't beleive there are any significant withdrawals from crack if you can get past the first few hours.
If he is going to be proactive in finding help, do I make him leave in the interim. He's said he does not want to have my debit card in his possession and is willing to give me receipts for all cash purchases (which he has NEVER been willing to do in the past). He has no access to money except through me and he's already over the past 2 years, pawned about everything of value that I wouldn't outright miss.
How do I finish my work day and then go to my small group tonight? He asked me to take the baby to the church nursery because he wants to go to a meeting tonight so that's a relief.