I am not sure where to to go. My DH is a recovering alcoholic and an ACOA. I feel like our relationship suffers so much from his childhood. He finally agreed to start counseling over it after he realized how much his family still affects him, how they suck him back in when he sees them, and the trouble it causes our marriage.
It wasn't my childhood but I am dealing with many of the effects of his. We had been trying to get pregnant unsuccessfully, and DH tells me now he does not want to have children right now, that he is scared he will not know how to be a parent and that he is afraid he will resent them for having a normal childhood.
Is this a common thought for ACOAs? He said he wants to work on that in therapy, will therapy help? Having kids is the one non-negotiable I have. When we got engaged he told me how much he wanted kids, we could start trying after a year or so, etc. I feel so lost right now. I feel like he lies to me about so many things. He used to lie about his childhood, he used to lie about his drinking, his tobbaco use (he would tell me he quit and hide it or use chew, when he could have just have easily said he isn't ready yet), I feel like he lies all the time and now I just don't trust him. I don't know what to do.
What do I do for support?
