^ Well, that's it really isn't it. Its at the stage now when I know I'm treading a very fine line between it becoming a serious problem and leading me to need to drink at work, etc.
I find the biggest problem is the depression the alcohol generates. For me its worse then the withdrawals and the depression makes me feel as if I just want to chuck myself off a bridge and end it all as it adds the physical symptoms of depression, such as the weakness, lethargy and lack of enthusiasm. So this means sometimes I don't want to not drink because I know that the alternative for the day is to feel like life is not worth living and so I go days until I feel bad enough when sober that I have no choice but to avoid drinking. Its a bad cycle and truth is I'm not sure I can go through it many more times, if at all. My life outside of this problem is quite good, but when I fall into these ruts I find that the withdrawls are even worse to deal with as a result of finding myself feeling awful again.