Welcome to SR.
There is a special section for spouses of alcoholics a little lower on the board where you might want to post also and get answers drom more people in the same boat.
I can only speak for myself and this is in no way advice but just a chapter in my life.
I am the one with the drinking problem and I also put my wife through some of the same things that you have had to endure. For this I am and always will be sorry.
About a month ago she had finally had it after putting up with it for 20+ years and said to either quit or leave. I am doing my best to quit, so far so good, because my family is more important than the drink. Don't know if this helps at all but I thought I would share anyways. Good luck.