I so agree with GiveLove:
>>>>>You start now, not ten or twenty or thirty years ago, right now: what will I do differently FOR ME<<<<<<<
It's important to look at our history and see how we got where we are today, but the key in looking back and analyzing is to help us make changes for the future. I don't believe you can second guess the past... I believe it's part of God's plan.
I posted earlier about another Melody Beattie book--Playing it by heart--which I would so strongly suggest reading. It may give you more of the answers you are looking for and help you keep looking ahead...