Hey there firestorm, sorry to see you down. But, you know, you absolutely can do this. As everyone says, this is just the start, and everyone knows how tough it is. Come on, who jumps on a bike and can ride and never fall off right from the start?
For what it's worth, I first tried to stop drinking about ten years ago. I've tried a few times since then....
This year, I first tried at the start of January. I didn't make it past day 4. I tried again a little later and didn't make it past day 3. Tried to "taper" my drinking, but that was madness - all of this in the last six weeks!
But I learned a lot from those so called "failures," worked hard to get good support in place, and on day four now I'm not drinking today, one hour at a time, going to meetings, coming here, and so far that's what I need to do to not drink. I only know about right now, not tomorrow, or even tonight, because damn right it's hard. But you and I both know we want sobriety. And I honestly feel that you absolutely WILL find your own way, and you absolutely WILL stop drinking. Peace to you.