I thought I was serious, I guess I'm just hopeless.
It's ok. I realise alot of people never get to live a sober life. I decided to give this sobriety thing a try four days ago, yet I drank alot tonight. I can't even say I wanted to, yet I did. Who do you trust? Quite frankly, I don't trust anyone. I don't trust my friends, I don't trust myself, I don't trust God or a higher power. Who do you trust? When the members here said " Hey, hang in there, it's gets easier," well I trusted that. The drive to have a drink was driving me crazy today. My skin actually flet as if it was crawling. I stopped in to this website this afternoon, then took a shower and went to the bar. For those of you who may say, "Oh, he's not ready yet," I firmly disagree. I've been ready for a long time now, yet I don't know how to do it. The suggestions seem to work for a little while, but then the newness wears off and I'm left with an overwhelming desire just to have a drink to quiet the demons in my soul.
I sincerely appreciate all of you who tried to help me. That's truly wonderful.