Alcoholic mom having affair. Help please
I’m 25 and my mom is an alcoholic; however there is so much more to it than that. She’s probably had the drinking problem for about 13 years, but just recently admitted to it in the last few. She started drinking again bad about a month ago and went into rehab after a DUI. My family thought she had a few more weeks to go there, but last week when I happened to be at her home she suddenly walked in the door. I don’t think she realized I’d be there. She acted as though everything was normal and said she had to go to outpatient therapy and to tell my step dad that she’d call later. Then she left with some strange car. No one had any idea that she was coming home and we don’t know how she got home.
The other part is that she’s in debt really bad and also is having an affair with a man she met in AA. I am soooo mad about this. I’m not supposed to know. My step dad told my sister and she then told me. I think this is just crazy. My step dad is a mess. He said he would do anything to work on the marriage, but she said she wants a divorce. I just feel like you don’t give up on someone if they want to work on it, leave them with your debt, and run off with a new man thinking it will solve your problems. She has had emotional problems for a long time and I just don’t think it is good for her. From what she says and does we all think she’s just spiraling downward. She lies about where she is and what she’s doing. She thinks this man “understands” her and is the answer. But she thought the same of my step dad in the beginning too.
Another thing is that my family expects me to pretend as if I don’t know so that she doesn’t freak out. I get that she’s out of control and I don’t want to set her off, but I can’t pretend I don’t know. She used to be my best friend and now I can’t even answer the phone to listen to her voice because I just don’t know who she even is now. There’s more to it, but I don’t want to go on forever. I’m mad and I’m scared and I don’t know how to handle this. If anybody has any advice please let me know. Either way thanks for letting me vent for a little.