I've been in your older sister's shoes, and believe me when I say the GUILT is so great that to even think of wanting something for herself will make her feel like she is betraying your parents. Your parents have worked their charm on her, and have convinced her that if she ever leaves (or even changes her role) that it will all come crashing apart AND it will ALL BE HER FAULT. How can anyone live with something like that? She still trusts your parents to give her what she deserves - whether it is fair or not. And when it's unfair, she feels too selfish to speak up about it.
Are you sure your not my sister?...LOL
Thank-you for your insight. I needed to be reminded we are all victims of abuse. We just deal with it differently. I will buy the book and give it to my sister.
I have to say, what a lovely system of self-blame in your family
You have no idea. Actually I forget most people here do.