This is unfortunate and the feelings you are feeling seem to momick most of the people that drink again. I haven't messed up yet and it is messages like yours that help prevent me from doing it.
Every case is similar in that at the time it is what is wanted with a feeling of anticipation and it ends in feeling physically ill and mentally remorseful for a day or two afterwords.
It has led me to know that THE GOING UP AIN'T WORTH THE COMING DOWN.
It is good that you have come to a similar conclusion. Reread your post when the wine comes a calling next time and you will no doubt make a wiser decision.
Good luck.