I learned to ask for help. I stuck around people that were living sober happy lives. Its all about experience and listening to how other people got sober and are living sober through whatever life throws at them. Its true there is no one in charge as such, thank God. I am responsible for my own behaviour. little sayings are great sometimes ....but sometimes they can be thrown around a lot ... There are those that talk the talk and there are those too that walk the walk. If you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths...think about getting a sponser and try the steps. Good rwishes