Almost a year since my exab/f was coming over my house a lot and I'm still finding hidden objects, pills, paraphernalia, etc..lol.
You're certainly not the only one made crazy by codependency. My thing was setting limits and making ultimatums with my Addict/alcoholic ex. I told him that he had to go to an addictionologist and take the medication recommended for alcholism (campral, for him), and I wanted him to limit his drinking. At that time, I didn't know that is impossible for addicts/alcoholics. So I told him "no more than 8 beers a night or I am leaving." Prior to that, he was drinking a case a night at home, after having 3 or more after work with coworkers. He initially agreed to this so I wouldn't break up with him.
So to keep to the agreement, what he would do is just drink eight 40 oz beers! lol...so obviously, that is not really an improvement, is it? He didn't want me going to meetings at all. He used to call them "cheatings" because he was convinced that is what I was doing while I was out. Talk about paranoid. I'm so glad I never married or let him move in...Thank God for that little break.
Now I'm just working on me and spending time with my kids. I need a break from men, or maybe I'll just stay alone forever. I'm certainly not ready to date at this point. Obviously, my picker is broken. I'm content alone.
KJ