Okay. Bad things happened. I've worked through it and I understand. Not going back there again. Moving along now.
There is a thin line between 'moving on' and denial. In my family, there was a strong tendency to 'just put it behind you' and 'its water over the dam'.
GL, reading that wonderful article gave me an insight into the difference between 'moving on' and denial - before we move on, we have to ask if we have
learned anything. We all accept that bad things happen to good people and that suffering, pain, and horror can provide us, and maybe are intended to provide us, with important lessons.
Act 1) This is what happened to me.
(note that it doesn't require admission of guilt/complicity by others)
Act 2) What have we learned here? What lesson do we bring forward?
(I am powerless when I try to quit, try to change them, try to __________)
Act 3) We move on, with the lesson and not the guilt, anger, confusion, ect.