I could no longer live with my AH and we are seperated. It has been a few weeks and I am thinking clearer. I have started really working the steps again as I have found my mind is able to think better and I am away from the madness of it all.
I will be honest, I still look for bar receipts and I look at the bank and credit card statements to see if he is drinking. I also check to see who he has been calling on the phone bill. I will probably stop this when I'm ready as it is not healthy behavior - but I need to confirm for myself at this time that he is not in recovery and is still seeing his female "friends" as he has promised the moon and is telling me he is seeing a doctor on Friday and will see if he needs help (if he doesn't realize this now, no psychiatrist in the world could convince him that he needs to go into recovery). He is trying to convince me that he has changed and has been being a "good boy" for a few weeks, but I know from the facts that he is not even trying and is trying to get me to change my mind about the divorce. The confirmation is there in black and white and he can't lie and have me believe that he is in recovery when he isn't even close to it. I don't confront him with what I know as it is a waste of time.