I so easily forget how it feels when they drink. He keeps telling me that if I dwell in the past we will never recover.
This has also been an issue for me, I think because my AH is a binge drinker -- there was usually periods of weeks in between which was plenty of time for me to forgive and forget. I have learned that fogiveness is one thing. Forgetting is a little different.
My AH would also 'avoid' talking about his indiscretions (it's over, it's in the past, why dwell on it) I think so he could bury his shame from them and make it easier for HIM TO FORGET the consequences of the behaviour.
For me, after years of empty promises and many declarations of his problem, I've simply had enough. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I know that no matter what, I will never regain my trust in him. There is just too much water under the bridge.
I agree with what everyone is saying in their posts. That his actions will be your barometer. When you say you are worried he will leave you if you stay in the States for longer than planned, I would ask myself....'is this possible or probably'. Possible, sure....probable ?
Enjoy your trip, do what you need to do. Let him own his recovery while you own yours. After all, we can only control ourselves.
Be gentle with you and take care
Laurie