Sometimes we addicts drink with the presence of pleasure, sometimes in the presence of pain...sometimes in the middle somewhere....we are attracted to a myriad of reasons to drink away some feeling or to bolster some other feeling.
You drink because your not seperated... and you drank because you did seperate.....
Do this...don't drink because YOU are worth the hard work it takes to stay sober Iriss, do it for you. I don't think anyone can really face the hard things in life and move in a positive healthy direction while using....stay sober for you. Everything else cannot move in your life without you being sober.
I have been there too...seems like every time ya turn around there is a reason that seems valid, a sinister reasoning, to run to the booze.
Only way to move forward is to fight. Don't drink today. I care.