I've been to a few A.A meetings but please know I spent much of my teenage/growing up years surrounded by A.A people.My father has been a member for over 30 years so I do have some concept of what it's about too.I think I knew more about A.A than most at 18....I'm now 46 and an alcoholic myself.It's all very different but in a way not.It makes sense to me now in a way it never could back then.
That said-I'm just very sorry you've been so hurt and I do hope you find the help you need.
This isn't about AA really.It's about your life and your sanity and your saftey-which I fear for a bit.Please stay safe and get the help you need.
Jules