isabelleT

Hi, so I'm new to this forum. I have a couple questions. Here is a little bit of background for you guys. My mother was a "functional alcoholic" who was also bipolar and never felt the need to go for recovery. She has repeatedly attempted suicide the most recent attempt being over a year ago. She has fried her brain and no longer has any short term memory. That being said, she has also lost the terrible mood swings and anger. My father is a terrible co-dependent and continues to supply her with wine to keep her happy. I also have come to realize that I married an alcoholic. I am learning about the ways he has lied and manipulated me into believing that I was the cause. I was going to alanon as regularly as I could until we moved out of the country. This past weekend he didn't come home until 9 am and doesn't remember much of the night. I told him I was fed up and was leaving.

I think he finally looked in the mirror. Now he has supposedly done this before, but has never, never, never admitted he had a problem. He has agreed that he is an alcoholic and has started AA. He went to his first meeting last night and was pretty enthusiastic about it. he tends to be a person that once he has decided to do something he throws everything into it for a while. My concern and questions are can I believe him? We were planning a trip back to the US for a couple weeks in the end of February and I would like to stay past when we planned on coming back home. He thinks I am not supporting him during his intense time of need. I don't know what to do. He's never committed like this before. I have tried to explain to him that I need time for myself.

I have read a couple really good suggestions on this forum about setting goals and reviewing each week. I believed for a long time that we were honest with each other and I hope that we can be again. Would it be mean to stay in the US for a while and leave him alone? I am planning on going to alanon again and have been in therapy for a couple months. I just don't know if I can trust him again. How long does it take to regain trust in your partner?

Any help would be great!!!