I used to say that I would give him "one more chance" and that I certainly "would not be in the same relationship in 10 years". In my situation, it has been progressing sooooo slowly that I lost track of that 10 years. I'm certainly not getting any younger (43) and am no longer going to wait and hope for another 10 years.
You have to decide what will make you happy and what your needs are. I found I was sooo caught up in what he needed to keep him sober (agreements, negotiating, finding him help) that I forgot what I NEED from a partner. It was really hard for me to think about that -- I hadn't paid attention to what I needed for so long.
I hope you find an alanon meeting -- just meeting new people when you are in a new place will help so much. Keep coming back here -- we're all here together