Hey Louis!
First, I'm PROUD of you! All the "whys" in your thread is summed up with "YOU'RE AN ALCOHOLIC", friend! Until I fully got that in my thick skull and conceded to my innermost self that I AM alcoholic.... I struggled severely with the thoughts that you're having... It's the nature of the beast!
You know you're not alone here but what do you have lined up for the 2 weeks you're not with us? Alcoholics Anonymous is everywhere, everyday, sometimes multiple times daily depending where you're at. Spiritual program - NOT RELIGIOUS! The main ingredient in an AA meeting is "one alcoholic talking to another"....
I, too, am at the 3 week mark (today).... My head has been swimming with the sharks in a pool of alcohol! I'm vulnerable severely right now as I never seem to make it very far at this time-frame with sobriety. I've up'd my mtgs and "busyness" in my life, gathering a bit more support around me (my son who passed away, it's his B-day month to boot) as I recognize this is not a "safe" place in my head, heart & life right now!
A brand spanking new fresh start -- starts right now for you, Louis! Take care of yourself and find that place in your heart of hearts that tells you that you can't do this alone and you need contact with other alcoholics. We are not uni-unique. We are simply alcoholics and not just on this website but worldwide -- everywhere!!! Wishing you lots of HOPE and love on your new journey! xoxoxo
:ghug3:ghug