New day... New start
The last week hasn't been the best.
I posted about my flatmate (roommate) not paying the rent --- got through it without drink.
I'm going away for 2wks so wont be able to check in here ---- hopefully will get through it without drink.... As i'm writing that im thinking WITHOUT DRINK. There should be NO hopefully in it.
Because im going away, ive had to move out of my flat before i go so thats today...
Now i get to make a choice.... A new part of my life starts here. I have the perfect opportunity to start afresh... no drink in my life... no one knows me or the things ive done.
Then why am i still thinking i need a drink to get me through this?
This should be a good day.
I did well yesterday. I went into my local pub (first visit since stopped, nearly 3wks) to say goodbye to people i know.
Some were impressed im not drinking others grilled me.
Is this a health kick?
What are you doing?
How long for?
Is this forever...yeah right?
My answer was no, this is just for now...
not today, not tomorrow, just for now. I can only live in the now at the moment.
But i didn't drink... I sat there for nearly an hour, my heart pounding the whole time. watching each time they took a drink and sipping my lemonade.
I made it....Im stronger than i think...
But my brain still keeps telling me i can drink occasionally.. i know i cant... i dont know if i can fight this constant battle... im beginning to get worn down.
Why is my brain still constantly making excuses for me to be able to drink?...
Sorry for the vent...
Be well
louis