Originally Posted by
silkspin 
the conversation went like this - he asked, I said I don't know, do what you want. He says he's only asking for my opinion. I say, I don't have one on this subject, it doesn't matter if he goes or stays. He seems hurt
My husband will ask what I want for dinner, chicken or steak. I'll say it doesn't matter to me, whichever is fine. He'll keep trying to get me to chose, and eventually he'll get upset, say "If it doesn't matter then just pick one, cuz it doesn't matter to me either." I can't get him to understand how unfair it is to expect me to pick one....if it doesn't matter to
either of us, how come
I have to pick one? Why isn't it
him who has to pick one?
Originally Posted by
silkspin But I really want to say "grow some effin balls will you?"
OMG, you and I must be long lost sisters.....I've had to fight the urge for the last year to grab hubby by the shoulders, shake him and say "man up and effin deal with it already!"
Originally Posted by
silkspin How much of this do I accept as the real him, versus him in early recovery? Does it matter?
I really don't have an answer for you. I'm hoping that it's part of the addiction and that it'll get better as he gets better. I can totally see the idea that he stopped maturing when drinking started becoming a problem....hell, I think he's actually regressed, he lived on his own before me, I'm not sure he'd be able to do that now after 11 years of me taking care of him in so many ways, enabling his not growing up. He's gotten too used to me subsidising his desire to just glide through life. I'm really hoping that his newfound desire to deal with his sh!t means that'll start improving.
Hang in there Silk!