The recovery crazies
Hi all, my AH and I have been living in separate bedrooms and he has been sober since, about a month. He goes to meetings about once a week. He is quite passive and I'm controlling and we both fell into these roles pretty easily. This week has been tough emotionally.
He's been looking for a volleyball team to join in this new city. On Monday I asked if he was coming straight home or to a meeting (my mom makes dinner so to let her know) and he said he'd go Tues, he likes that group. Then Tuesday he said he was going to try a new league he found, so he'd go to a meeting tonight. Truthfully, it bothered me. Then he wondered if he should go to the game, asking me what I thought (cuz he's competitive level and he thought it may be too recreational). It bothered me that he couldn't make a decision and it really has nothing to do with me. Then because he sensed my mood was off, he kept looking at me, asking if everything was ok, kind of walking on eggshells. I told him I was fine, to leave me with my stuff.
I guess I should have more empathy because I suppose it's almost like an inmate leaving prison - now that he has freedom from me 'letting go', he doesn't know what to do with himself and is still falling into old habits. But aren't the meeting supposed to be helping him with this? Now that I'm perfectly happy to let him be, his attitude bugs me. Now that I've dropped old expectations, I guess I have new ones for him to be whatever he wants and to do what he wants. I'm having trouble managing my feelings about this. I know that everyone recovers their own way and I can't interfere, but I feel like telling him to stop asking me my opinion on his stuff and stop letting my mood affect him. I genuinely don't think he's trying to pull me into anything, but he just doesn't know how to be a grown up. Am I going crazy? Is this part of recovery? Any advice?