>>I can't figure out why he doesn't realize God wants him to love himself and be safe..... My mind continues to swirl...>>
Maybe he does realize this, maybe it is another issue. Maybe not. Give yourself a rest and stop working to figure it out. You might be more content to leave it as speculation.
The poll attached to this thread, I am going to click it as yes as my legal AH went to a meeting yesterday and appeared to not have drank. He would view this "being in" so I will click yes.