Originally Posted by
tiredofhoping 
Wow, those words hit me like a ton of bricks. I mean, I can already see it progressing, but I don't want to believe it. Here's the hard thing, which I sure lots of you have dealt with. If at some point I decide it is in our best interest to leave, how do I convince my young son that I am not the bad guy without saying his dad is the bad guy. I feel like he will forever blame me for leaving. I guess this is what I need a counselor for.
We codependents have a tendency to 'awfulize' the future.
My youngest daughter who will be 21 this summer has had a father who has been next to non-existent in her life. He's been a sober member of AA for over 33 years now. He wasn't a father to his first set of kids when he was drinking (he's 20 years older than me), and that sure didn't change when he quit drinking either and had 2 more daughters later in life.
You know what? My daughter loves me, and knows which parent has been there for her through the worst and the best of times.
Believe me, it's far better to have one sane, loving parent than staying together for the 'sake of the children' and exposing them to the insanity of this disease.