I've been where you are tired and it's not a fun place to be. My AH had his 4th dui four years ago and is still not driving. He was sentenced to jail time but it is an absolute joke here (he got to go on the weekends, Friday to Sunday night and that counted for four days -- it was three months of inconvenience really -- at least I knew where he was for the weekend!). The stress is major. I stepped back and let him deal with it all (lawyers, court -- all of it!) all by himself. I left him for three months. He almost lost his job -- sooooo because he was about to lose his family and his job, he went to rehab, sobored up and life was great. For about 6 months. He didn't go to address his problems or look at himself -- it was to save his a**.
Now I am in the process of separating from him and have lived nothing but lies and deceit for the past four years (way longer in total). I have reached rock bottom.
Have you decided what things will look like between now and court? Set up some boundaries? All hard things to do when you are in crisis and depressed. Do you see a counselor, go to Alanon. All things that could help you. Coming here has kept me semi-sane for the past couple of months.
I'm thinking of you and know that you don't have to solve everything right this moment -- one small step at a time