Thanks everyone that realy helps.
I have always had this head thing that when things go wrong I need someone to tell me it will all be ok or go even further and fix it but of course neither of those things work at all, its all part of my dialogue. I guess it comes from my distance past and only now am I exposing these things to the light and able to leave them behind or at the very least not act on them.
I am still here (thanks barnes for the reminder
) and doing it one hour at a time and carefully monitoring my thoughts, right now I am chanting the serentity prayer, the 3rd step prayer and the prayer or mantra below.
Not posting here and not talking to others because I thought I should know it all by now (more dialogue of this friggin dis ease), has cost me so much and I will never do that again.
Thanks
Kevin
May I be filled with loving Kindness
May I be well
May I be at peace and at ease
May I be happy
and you can replace the 'I' with any name you like.