hi hopeful (genrs nice to see you posting)
same story but i work with the guy. i agree it SUCKS!!
moving on when you still have to see the guy is much more difficult and takes more time... but it can be done! think of it as an experiment of patience with yourself :>
whenever i start wondering about what he is doing with the new gf, how he is having fun and i have cried for months...all those harmful thoughts... i try to gently bring myself back to ME and my plans. or if i cannot do it i try to think of someone that loves me like my dad or a close friend. or a really good memory that does not involve him.
also the "next right thing to do" has helped me. this moment, what is the next right thing or the next best thing you can think of doing for yourself, in order for you to feel better? this helps come back to the present moment and reality...
i am there with you and i am glad we are recovering together.
i wish i could have a magic wand to solve this.
the best lesson i have learned from my mourning and constant wound reopening is, feel your feelings, accept them, get them out of your system, do not keep anything inside...
if i am sad i do not try to distract myself doing something else, i sit down, think about all the memories, play the songs, see the pictures and take it to the extreme.... nice release. my roomie thinks i like to suffer but no, as i do not want to be suffering carrying this weight all the time i am pushing for it all to go out and release me!! at least that's my well tested method getting over someone lol...
there is no timer. ppl have asked me that is already 4 months since we broke up and really cannot believe i am still sad. ok ppl leave an alcoholic person you loved with all your heart and we'll talk after that!!
you can work out, study, improve somehow, that is good revenge lol :> i know i am looking and dressing much better... i try to use the fact my ex sees me everyday as a motivation to go forward.. probably should not be that way... but it makes me improve. ultimately i hope i do this for myself only.
all the best in your mourning process and know you are never alone, we'll weather the storm and come out stronger and wiser, able to make better decisions and take good care of ourselves no matter what we come across
