(((HUGS)))
Wow, that's a tough situation for you to be in, living so close to him. Is it possible for you to move? Do you have kids together?
For me, I do the most healing when I am not in contact with my xabf at all, including seeing him, at all. It is best for me when I don't know what he's doing.
I am sorry you are going through this, I'm sure others will be along shortly with some greater "words of wisdom".