my heart goes out to you - my soon to be ex wouldn't leave either - I actually had to leave our home.
Each State has different laws concerning community property, divorce and evicting a spouse - so it's hard to say but I know that sometimes you can get additional advice from the women's shelters.
Yes, I know that women's shelters are for abuse, and sweetie - these types of situation are usually abusive even if you are never "hit". I had no idea how unhealthy and abusive my home life was until I didn't live in it anymore. Maybe yours isn't that way, but mine was and I didn't even realize it.
HUGS and prayers that your home will soon be a serene and safe place for you and your sons.
Rita