((Cadence))
Welcome to SR!
I see lots of red flags in the son's behavior, and am a recovering addict. It appears his dad is in major denial.
I agree with out-to-lunch..is this acceptable to you? From the sounds of it, this may go on for a very long time. Just as you can't make an addict hit bottom, you can't make a codie hit bottom either....they each have to find their bottoms in their own time. The best thing you can do, is not enable either of them....and again, watch your valuables.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy