justaboutus,
Congrats on all the tough changes you've made.
Although I'm super-sensitive to manipulation, and this may be it, what I see is him reacting to your statement that "Yes", there's a chance.
Does he KNOW that the likelihood you'd take him back is one in a million? And if he doesn't, why not just tell him? Under what circumstances would you accept him back? Were you clear about your boundaries/needs/limits, or did you just leave it at "maybe, and I'll let you know when" ? Many men -- many PEOPLE, including myself (a non-A) - don't operate well in a gray state like that. They want to know
1) yes, there's a possibility, and to get there I need to work toward specific, measurable lifestyle change X
or
2) no, the door is closed, and I need to accept this new reality.
You may not know these answers. But that appears to me what he's trying to clarify, so that he can either move toward doing something, or move on with his life. What do you want him to do?