I didn't quite take my drinking to the level that some have, and I could drink moderate amounts each day for extended periods of time (although I was still very much a slave to it and it kept my body out of wack). But still, I couldn't always predict when I would tie one and/or decide to drive my car or engage in some other stupid behavior. Plus, I started to blackout much earlier than I used to when I was younger, and that is very scary. My theory is that alcohol effects our decision making process in such a profound way, that once we've started drinking, we're really not the same person we were beforehand. I sometimes miss the buzz and feeling of freedom, but it had gotten to where it was also causing me immediate anxiety, exactly what I was attempting to escape. I saw an empty can of Tilt (my old friend) the other day laying in the gutter and it got me thinkin'... kinda caught me by suprise. And I still think about smokin' weed quite a bit...