Thanks, Everyone. I haven't gone to al anon yet. I think I have been deriving strength from my friends and family who all support me a hundred percent. My husband is living with me for the next two weeks and its very painful for me. I can't stand seeing him so sad and its hard for me to know how to act. He wants to think I am going out to Boston in 6 months and I can't tell him I will, but it seems to be the only hope he has and I don't want to take it away from him. Sigh... more tears on the way... but I think I am doing the right thing.