Thanks every one for this post and the replies.
Im trying to remember acceptance atm.
There were some good times and great memories. Sure it sucks that I dont have what others have at my age but that is what it is... They havent done and experienced some of the things I have either.
I like being sober, but the fact that it is a family disease really gets to me.
My family is toxic to me.
I guess I will keep coming.
It is helpful to know that its not just me.