I have similarities in my life.
My depression began at age 19 and stayed with me all my life. Drs kept telling me I looked fine, therefore could not be depressed and I concluded that I just wasn't trying hard enough. I got married, had children and the depression worsened. I began drinking in my mid-forties to self-medicate and finally stopped a few years later. I had to get my depression properly diagnosed and treated before I could stop drinking.
So, I made some poor life-choices because of depression. I gave up many job-opportunities because I wasn't able to deal with them. I gave up many friends because I couldn't explain why I felt too blah to see them. I spent many years just trying to keep my head above water, not accomplishing anything more.
Yes, I wish I knew then, what I know now. But I didn't. Neither did you. “You did then what you knew how to do, And when you knew better, You did better.” One of my favorites quotes from one of my favorite people, Maya Angelou. You are where you should be. I am where I should be. You have a chance to do many things now, maybe now what you had expected, but you have an opportunity to do things with your life that will make a difference. Why not think about volunteering with children or giving something back to your community? It might open up a new world to you.